Overrated: Libraries

Unnecessarily weighing down the Earth

Overrated:  Libraries

This rant can be a little controversial.  I think we should get rid of all libraries.  Yep, just get rid of them!  I know there are great memories for some of you and even recent memories for some of the moms out there who took their kids to story time at the local library, but in today’s day and age libraries have become irrelevant and unneeded.  Ask yourself:  If they didn’t exist already, would we create them?  Of course not!

The census would show us that there are 38,000 libraries in the US (this doesn’t include school libraries).  If each of those libraries had a property value of $100,000 (a conservative estimate), we would raise $4 billion dollars. Just think how many flybys of NYC and photo ops could be done with the Statue of Liberty and Air Force One!  If you also took the annualized salaries of all librarians and office workers, plus associated costs it would save more money.  And it always seems like libraries are about 10 degrees cooler than need to be which brings up the point of the electric and overall HVAC costs.  In today’s economy can we afford this “luxury”?

So why do we have libraries?   Certainly, there is a strong argument that libraries are a dated concept that had merit from eight generations ago, but just like we don’t fund Blockbuster or other rental agencies, we should no longer fund libraries.  If they can be successful, they should stand on their own.  What would we lose?

• Anonymous internet usage that is untraceable? Gee… there is something that terrorists and child predators would really miss.
• The Dewey Decimal System – gosh how will we fill those hours of missed third-grade classroom learning
• Library cards and fines
• Evil glares, stares and guilt from librarians who won’t be able to shush people

While people may dispute these items, there is no doubt that libraries are seriously contributing to global warming.  When you take into account the carbon footprint of the heating and air conditioning burden these cause to our world and add in all the trees that cut down in the name of books, we are wasting our rain forests for books that are never even found by our beloved Dewey Decimal system.  Now, think about this:  the billion pounds of books have to be pulling us closer to the center of the Earth… really!  That strain on the Earth’s crust brings us closer to the magma at the center of the Earth and that creates a small increase in the heat of the surface.

As an example of how self-important libraries consider themselves despite their obvious irrelevancy, here is a town in NJ that is seeking federal stimulus package money to fund their frivolous endeavor.  I feel for you, taxpayer of West Milford… Maybe the government should just give out a free Kindle to everyone and call it a day?  http://www.suburbantrends.com/NC/0/2700.html   (link is no longer active but it was basically a begging request for funds to keep the library going)